I'm Easy, Within Reason

AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION is just that. Actual words spoken as a means of communication between my wife and I (my wife and me?) Verbal cross sections... snapshots of our existence. When shared via social media, they’ve sorta become a thing. Here are a few o’ my faves from 2014

:

Mike

(Punching up Classic Rewind on the car radio): “I waaant yooouu to want me...”

Jackie

(cranking knob clockwise): “If you are gonna listen to Cheap Trick, you need a little volume.”

Mike:

“So, ya think any of my Facebook friends will notice I was off Facebook for 40 days of moderation and spiritual discipline during Lent?”

Jackie:

“I think if that’s what you’re wondering, then perhaps you need more discipline.”

Mike:

“That goes without saying...”

Mike

(asking my wife to ‘splain it to me like I’m a 3rd grader): “Sometimes you gotta take me by the hand.”

Jackie:

“Sometimes I try, but you don‘t grab on.”

Jackie:

“What do you want to do for dinner?”

Mike:

“I’m easy.”

Jackie:

“That is definitely not the case.”

Mike:

“I’m easy, within reason.”

Mike

(offering listening choices

en route

to KC): “You prefer an NFL game, the NASCAR race, music, or do you want me to hold forth on world affairs?”

Jackie:

“Anything but that last one.”

Quick! To the Batcave!

Jackie:

“Why’s your car parked backward in the garage?”

Mike:

“Because every now and then a guy just likes to imagine he’s driving the Batmobile outa the Batcave.”

Mike

(while Jackie flattens a “popped” collar on my Polo pullover): “I thought you liked popped collars.”

Jackie:

“I did... in 1985.”

Mike

(on the phone, car to car): “Your call came at the end of Lipps Inc.’s ‘Funkytown.’”

Jackie:

“I was listening to ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ by Guns 'n Roses.”

Mike:

“To each their own ‘coming of age’ era music.”

Mike:

“I can do a pretty good Obama.”

Jackie:

“Yeah, not so much.”

Mike:

“I need to work on it.”

Jackie

: “You really don’t.”

(Arranging to pick up my wife in Wichita after traveling there separately from MHK on the same day.)

Jackie:

“I just hope it’s convenient for you.”

Mike:

“Anywhere you are... is convenient for me.”

Mike

(while walking dogs): “I guess we’re true Manhattanites if we’re using purple dogsh-- bags.” (PAUSE.) “That’s probably some kind of actual conversation.”

Jackie:

“...‘cept you’re just talking to yourself.”

Jackie

(bearing Italian sausage from Palluca's in Frontenac): “How about this for dinner?”

Mike:

“Yum.”

Jackie:

“Not sure how to prepare it, but I’ll figure it out.”

Mike:

“You grew up with Italians. Your middle name is Marie. I have confidence in you.”

Jackie

(At Target, scrupulously eyeballing/contemplating a wide variety of snacks for a weeklong gathering of like-minded chronies): “This might take me awhile.”

Mike:

“Take your time. ‘Patience’ is my middle name.”

Jackie:

(literally laughing out loud.)

Jackie:

“You kept me awake talking in your sleep.”

Mike:

“Did I offer up anything profound?”

Jackie:

“Not that I recall, though I did not get up and take notes.”