"More Art than Science"

AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION is just that. Actual words my wife and I (my wife and me?) use to communicate. Verbal cross sections, snapshots of our existence. When shared via social media, they’ve sorta become a thing. Here are a few 2017 faves:

(watching Adam Levine on ‘The Voice’)
Mike: “Are mustaches coming back?”
Jackie: “Not for you, they're not.”

(perusing photos from a high school reunion which I did not attend)
Mike: “I don't look that old, do I?”
Jackie: “Only when you go to bed at 9 p.m.”

Mike: “Whaddaya call that new perfume?”
Jackie: “Nirvana.”
Mike: “Does it smell like teen spirit?”

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(after losing some weight, my jeans were riding down a tad)
Mike: “I feel like a gangsta.”
Jackie: “You look like a plumber.”

Mike: “Did you put our address in there?”
Jackie: “No, I just told them to deliver the pizza to two people standing by the side of the road.”

(restaurant breakfast reverie interrupted by the eardrum piercing wailing of a nearby small child)
Mike: “Did you scream like that when you were a kid?”
Jackie: “If I did, it wasn't for very long.”

(helping me reach a seemingly obvious conclusion to a kaput phone charger)
Mike: “Thanks. What would I do without you?”
Jackie: “I honestly wonder sometimes.”

(me going to 7 a.m. Ash Wednesday Mass, her, noon)
Jackie: “Wake me up before you leave.”
Mike: “I'll wake you up before I go-go.”

Strict Mentos protocol. Who knew?

Strict Mentos protocol. Who knew?

Jackie: “Don’t just take the orange ones, take whatever comes out.”
Mike: “Sorry, I was under the impression it was community gum.”
Jackie: “It is, as long as those in the community respect its use.”

Jackie (from the bathroom): “Hey honey, are you running hot water?”
Mike: “No.” (PAUSE) “Well... not unless you count the dishwasher.”

Jackie: “Wanna try some of this whipped cream stuff I made?”
Mike: “How does ‘whipped cream stuff’ differ from whipped cream?”

Mike: “Those’re some cute grey leggings you’re wearing.”
Jackie: “Thank you.”
Mike: “Whaddaya call those things, anyway?”
Jackie: “Leggings.”

Jackie: “I dreamed last night that you had long hair and a mustache.”
Mike: “I did… in 1990.”

Mike: “I learn through repetition.”
Jackie: “I hate repeating myself.”